I am both the perpetrator and the victim of my own lousy proposal. I had the ring, I got down on one knee, but to hear Patrice tell the story that's about all I got right. But, hey, we've been married for nearly thirteen years so, . . .
Many people, my wife included, consider the marriage proposal to be nearly as important as the wedding itself. Some men (me) may opt for a low-key semi-private proposal, while others may go for a more public or extravagant declaration of their affection. For many women, creativity and thoughtfulness are key in the wedding proposal. Luckily, Patrice chose to overlook that particular flaw in my stragegem.
One of the best ways to incorporate these aspects is to think about the other person's interests, favorite things or perhaps a significant place. One great way to plan an elaborate proposal is to ask others to help out in organizing it. For example, if one partner is crazy about theater, take them to a show and pre-arrange with the cast and crew to incorporate a proposal scene with the real person's names. Another idea is to plan a private dinner in a park, catered by friends, family or a favorite restaurant. Wine, moonlight, a musician that suddenly appears, . . .
As Wedding Photographers and de facto planners we have had the opportunity to hear some intricately planned, wildly creative stories. One of our grooms actually set everything in motion months prior to the deed. The couple had planned a diving vacation in the Florida Keys. He, on a prior trip had commissioned a sign, "Marry Me ___" to be attached to a rock under water that his bride would discover months later during a dive. Another groom proposed to his lady during a hot air balloon excursion and later did a photo shoot at a hot air balloon festival. They carried the theme through to include their invitations, guest favors, wedding decorations and even a hot air balloon cake topper! An important experience to consider is related to the aforementioned, 'ask others to help out' or at least let important key people in on the plan. One of our grooms planned to propose to his fiancee-to-be at the top of a substantial hike/stairclimb on Oahu in front of the entire family surrounded by incredible, pristene, scenery. Turned out it was foggy at the top, our groom stepped off to the side to get the ring out of his pocket with cold damp hands. He fumbled with the ring just a bit. Got it all set, turned around and viola! The entire family including his bride-to-be were already headed back down the stairs!
Traditionally it has always been the man who proposes to the woman, but in recent years some women have been turning that custom around. Scottish tradition has it that on February 29 a woman has the right to propose marriage to any man she likes. It was commonly believed that in 1288, Queen Margaret of Scotland had decreed that any woman could propose to any man she liked and he could not refuse unless he was already engaged. (Subsequent searches of the acts of the Scottish Parliment have failed to unearth evidence of this unusual decree). In 2004 AOL conducted a survey of 7000 people and found that 59 percent of women and 48 percent of men thought that women who proposed were modern and confident, rather than 'scary or intimidating'.
So there you are, a proposal for marriage. The beginning of the Plan.
And Guys, talking just to you now. WHAT EVER YOU DO, think about it first. Personally, I was overcome with the need to get the ring out of my pocket and on to her finger. I get kicked under the table every time Patrice hears about a romantic proposal scheme from one of our couples visiting the studio. If you want to hear the rest of the story, stop on by, . . . I haven't been kicked in a while.
Just sayin, think about it, . . .
sjones / 971-235-4440 / www.aaronstadt.com
