a Sensible Guest List

A Good Plan includes Creating a Sensible Guest List

If there’s one point in the planning process that drives couples to thoughts of eloping, it’s the guest list. What starts as an intimate list of your close friends and family turns into a sprawling volume for which your budget will only allow a PBR kegger with a pot-luck, sub-way, cheese whiz and KFC buffet.

One of the largest expenses in any wedding is dependent on the guest list. The number of guests dictates the amount of invitations, furnishings, food, drinks and favors that need to be ordered and paid for. Before you start thinking about your guest list, decide what your budget is and what style and size of wedding you want to have. This will help you determine factors like the type of venue you can afford and how much food and beverage allowance you can squeeze in to your budget. Playing with your budget numbers will help you figure out how many guests you can afford to host in the style you have in mind.

When Planning your guest list If you are the organized dot-your-tee's and cross-your-eyes type of person you might want to play the percentages. For example: the bride and groom choose 50% of the invitees and then each set of parents choose another 25%. Another hyper-organized method is to create relationship categories; The first tier consists of essential family members (parents, siblings, grandparents, other more distant relatives with whom you have a close personal relationship); the second is close friends and other extended family members (second cousins); the third is colleagues and other friends. Invite work colleagues who you socialize with outside work. If it has potential to cause a stir at your workplace, set logical parameters, such as only inviting people from your department, and there is no rule that says you must invite your boss if you don't want to. When you know how many guests you can afford, start cutting the list from the bottom tier up. You’ll save potential hurt feelings by eliminating entire groups of people (say coworkers or your book club), rather than inviting just a few. That said, ultimately you should invite people you want to share your life with – not just your wedding moment, Invite people to your wedding who are part of your life now, and who will be part of your future.

It can be very easy to get carried away, especially if parents and relatives insist on adding long lost family members and distant friends or acquaintances to the list. If parents are likely to be 'enthusiastically' involved in creating the list, save later embarrassment by giving them specific guidelines as soon as possible―before they start making phone calls inviting friends and family.

One thing that often trips up brides is whether or not to have a ‘plus-one’ on the invitation,” The solution is to do so only when you have socialized with the 'couple'. On the invitations, make it very clear whether the person invited is allowed to bring their spouse or significant other, children or a guest. If someone asks if he or she can bring a guest, diplomatically tell them that this is how you made the difficult decision; that there will be a lot of people attending without partners; and that, for budget reasons, you had to eliminate a lot of family and colleagues, which should make them feel special that they themselves were invited.

One good way to get around this is by trimming the list to only include friends and family who are close to the bride and groom. In this instance, most people will understand that the wedding is a smaller affair. If you’re not sure whether to invite someone, “Ask yourself, ‘Have I even seen this person in the last year?’” If the answer is no, sounds like you won't miss them if they don't show up.

Remember that it’s your day. It’s really easy to start feeling guilty and inviting people just because the think you should, but that’s how you end up with the spray-on cheese-whiz, kentucky fried chicken, gastronomical adventure. Be strong, be honest, be sensible and remember, rich people give better presents.

sjones / 971-235-4442 / www.aaronstadt.com

the Perfect Venue

A Good Plan must have the Perfect Venue

From a very very young age I tried to teach my children that certain values were never to be compromised.  There were things that could simply not be done over, they should absolutely be done right the first time. Above all else they should remember one simple word that will make everything alright, . . . ,"elope". 
Fast forward, daughter number one has been seeing 'this guy' for four years. I am waiting for the call, the happy voice that exclaims, "we went to Vegas this weekend and guess what we did!" The phone rings, I pick it up and that happy voice that I have never been able to say "no" to exclaims, "I love you dad and I found where I want to  get married, it's a castle!"
Well as it turned out it wasn't exactly a castle, it was an 27,000sq'  18th Century Welsh Manor House on a four acre estate with sunken gardens, a private lake, 22 bedrooms, 22 baths and ambience to spare, . . . whew. It was perfect, she was a princess and he was her hunky handsome prince.

As a fairly important timeline constant we would suggest that the first thing you do after you have passed on the whole justice-of-the-peace/little-white-chapel-on-the-strip thing is, reserve your venue. It is difficult to do anything else until you have the date nailed down. Most photographers, dj's, officiants, etc are reluctant talk to you until you know the date. And while they cannot know if they are available they are usually available for some friendly advise. Of course when it's your own daughter, a smidgeon more flexibility is involved. (yes I was the Father-of-the-Bride AND one of the Photographers, ask me sometime how THAT worked out).
 The venue chosen for the ceremony and reception has a huge impact on the general atmosphere and flow of events. There are a number of things too keep in mind when touring possible  venues.  It’s important to pick a date that suits your ideas, your budget and the number of people you expect to attend. You may find booking a mid-week date gives you spare funds for all the little extras you have in mind. Many venues have discounts up to 40% on non-saturday weddings. Some of the more popular venues book up to a year in advance so if you are anxious to 'tie the knot' soon after the question is 'popped', you'll need to get right on this.
An important and often overlooked aspect is the design of the venue. A large open hall will make visibility of the ceremony and key events at the reception available to all in attendance. A venue made up of smaller intimate spaces might be more conducive to limited numbers of guests. The design of the space can definitely have an effect on your event.
You can never be absolutely sure of the weather, though you do have better chances for sunny/blue in summer, but worrying about the weather is the last thing you need on the big day. Make sure your wedding venue offers good opportunities for your photography inside and out.
Check out accommodations nearby. Make sure they are sufficient for out of town guests and that there is necessary transportation readily available.
Check to see if the venue requires you  to use their own catering (which can be a plus with chefs working on-site in their own kitchens) or can you / must you bring in an outside vendor. It’s your wedding, so don’t be afraid to ask ethical questions. Do they use free range meat and eggs, or fairtrade tea and coffee? This should come as standard in good wedding venues today and if it’s important to you then don’t be shy to ask. Most venues will be more than willing to assist with this.
An important decision to consider at the reception is wether or not the meal will be a sit-down dinner or a buffet.  A buffet lends itself to more social freedom and personal interaction with your guests early in the evening while a sit-down dinner has a more formal elegant feel.
Your wedding venue may or may not allow a pre-paid bar, or may charge extra to have a licensed bartender for drinks, so you should check this in advance and discuss your options. Table service during the reception and evening drinks should come as standard.
Having a wedding venue that can recommend professionals like a stylist for your hair and makeup, or a resident DJ, will take some stress away from your planning. The venue generally will only choose people they have worked with before so they will most likely be experienced, trusted and know the venue well. Your venue’s wedding co-ordinator is there to help make your wedding day perfect, so make the most of them. They are almost certain to have some great ideas you hadn’t thought of!
If you are having the ceremony in a church or any other location that is separate from the reception keep in mind that the guests, any vendors involved in both locations such as your dj, musicians. photographers, and family will need to have sufficient time and instructions on getting to the second venue.
The ceremony and reception are going to be an event to remember for years and years. The right venue can make the difference between "when that was exhausting, . . " and "oh man, let's do that again next weekend"
As with all parts of the plan we have the resources and references to provide you with reliable and excellent quality assets for your  wedding. Give us a call
When it all comes together on the big day you will have all of these thoughts carefully planned and have many wonderful people working for you to make your day run as smooth as silk. Let go of the stress. Place it all in someone else's capable hands and you  will live 'happily  ever after'.
 
sjones / 921-236-4440 / www.aaronstadt.com

a Beautiful Gown

A Good Wedding Plan should include a Beautiful Wedding Gown

The proposal pretty much signifies a commitment by the  groom to show up dressed in whatever costume his bride-to-be has decided would be appropriate for the day. In my case, I found out ten minutes prior to the realizatipn that I was indeed getting married on that particular day, (another story, another day). The Brides's Gown is another matter. In many cases the gown that will be worn on her wedding day is chosen shortly after she learns to walk, flip the pages of a magazine and say  those immortal words, "look mommy  a princess!". A case in point, our  unmarried daughter's wedding dress has been hanging in our closet for five years, . . .

Whether or not you have dreamed of the perfect dress for years or suddenly come to the realization that you really do want to play dress up, selecting the perfect gown is often one of the most exciting decisions. It's not every day you can dress like royalty and be the center of attention. As with any important purchase however you should go shopping armed with advice. As Wedding Photographers we have seen our share of dresses from elegant to vintage, from extravagant to simple, from heavenly to 'no one should be seen in a dress like that'.

At most bridal salons, you get some consultation just by walking in the door. Take advantage of the information you receive. The consultant will be able to offer suggestions on fit and style based on your age and body type. A wedding gown may look wonderful in a magazine, but it may not look good on you. Take along someone who is not afraid to give you honest 'no-holds-barred' feedback. Deciding on a particular gown style is easier when you know what flatters your figure. Whatever your shape, wearing the right cut for your body type can highlight your best features and downplay others.
Larger sized brides will look wonderful in A-line or Empress dresses. But not all styles will look flattering, a mermaid style for example.  Mermaid is a slim, body-hugging gown, with or without a waistline, flaring from the knees or slightly above. When trying on a dress remember it's more difficult to see behind you. Have your advisor watch out for flowing body parts, cleavage in places where it should not be. Larger size women may also want to avoid clingy fabrics such as crepe and jersey, and bulky fabrics such as velvet and heavy satin. Opt instead for lighter weight satins, chiffons, and silk.
If you're pear shaped, a strapless ball gown will cover your bottom half and highlight your better half. An off-the-shoulder neckline, for example, will make your top look more in proportion to your bottom. On the other hand, a sheath can be unflattering, and a V-neck will draw the eyes downward, where you don't want them to go.
Extremely thin and shorter brides will get lost in big, ornate ball gown styles. You may want to try them anyway. This will give you a feel for what you don't want as well as what you do want.
If you're short-waisted, a princess-line silhouette, fitted at the bodice and opening up gradually to a full skirt, will elegantly draw out your figure. If you're comfortable with your shoulders, try a portrait or halter neckline.
During the last three seasons the trend has definitely been towards strapless dresses. Comfort and fit it is extremely important with these dresses. Some of our past brides that wore a dress which was slightly large (by even half a size), or was a just a little uncomfortable with  the  'exposure'  factor resulted sagging or pulling up, adjusting the dress all night long.
Another trend is the 'lace-up' dress. The experts in the salon can put you into one of these dresses in no time at all but unless you have plenty of practice it may take longer than you expect on the 'day of'.  We have seen it take up to  45 minutes as the bride is laced in to the dress, then unlaced because she cannot breathe, then laced again and even again when the second lacing ends up being too loose.  Best advice we can give - practice with whomever will be finally helping you dress on your wedding day.
Buying a dress is a major commitment and it's natural to wonder if you made the right choice. Wedding gowns can run into the thousands, which can eat into a good portion of any wedding budget You want to look amazing, but you’d also like to give your guests something to eat, drink, and ideally sit on. In  a recent online survey 80% of those polled indicated they’d at least consider a used wedding dress on the big day. Yes, someone else wore it already. But only once. You can have it professionally cleaned, and may be able to afford a higher end designer this way. Many sites use a peer-to-peer model, so you contact the seller directly. You can ask all kinds of questions (see below) and arrange shipping and return logistics. Pro: Because you’re dealing directly with the seller, you can negotiate the price. Con: You’re dealing with an individual as opposed to a business, so build in the unpredictability factor.  A list of retail and online resources as well as a list of important questions to ask sellers is included at the end of this article.
When buying new don't be preoccupied with the size of the sample gowns you try on initially. Most gown samples are smallish in sizes 8, 10, or 12. You'll be able to tell what the gown will look like even if it's too big or too small. Once you make your decision, the gown will be ordered from the manufacturer's size chart according to your measurements, regardless of the sample size.
New gowns usually take anywhere from four to six months just to come in, and you'll need another six weeks for alterations. There are exceptions to this rule, but leave yourself as much time as possible before the wedding to be sure you can get the dress you want with the proper fit.
It's common to have two or three fittings for your gown. The first fitting usually takes place about six weeks before your wedding day. Bring along a trusted friend or family member for advice. This first fitting is to ensure two principal things: your gown is the right size, color, and design (neckline, train, sleeves, etc.) and your seamstress knows what she's doing.
An excellent seamstress or tailor is key for altering a used or sample dress. They will most likely have an assistant (maybe the salon salesperson or another member of the staff) who helps you get into your gown. The seamstress should then begin looking for places where your dress needs to be altered.
A final word about the cost of buying a gown - Most people don’t keep up with wedding gown fashion, so no one will ever recognize your dress or where you got it from–all the more incentive to go for the deal. Everyone that day will just be focused on how amazing you look. And you can use the extra money saved for, oh, say, photography, or your honeymoon — by then, your dress will just be a little heap that’s yesterday’s news.To be honest, I very much enjoyed enjoyed playing dress up in my (new-to-me) Calvin Kline three piece suit. And yeah, I felt, . . . 'special'.


sjones / 971-235-4440 / www.aaronstadt.com

Wedding Lines At Retail Stores
BCBG A small but special selection all under $1000.
Anthropologie (BHLDN) Dresses with a bohemian and vintage bent that one would expect from Anthro. Most dresses are under $2000.
J. Crew Classic all the way–and the largest collection. All gowns are under $3000 with plenty of options under $1000.
Ann Taylor Simple and flowy, almost all under $500.

Sample Sale Dresses
TheAisleNewYork.com The Gilt Groupe of wedding dresses, just launched in January: An online flash sale that features a high-end dresses at a discount for a limited time only.
BridePower.com Sample and consignment dresses at deep discounts

Used Dresses
PreOwnedWeddingDresses.com One of the original sites to connect buyers and sellers of used dresses, with a broad selection.
OnceWed.com A tasteful site and blog with a lovely selection of used designer gowns.
RecycledBride.com Our pick for used bridesmaid dresses.
WoreItOnce.com This website has a clunkier interface, but if you’re looking at everything, has gowns worth checking out.
eBay Great selection of wedding gowns on eBay. Just don’t get caught up in the bidding, and make sure to check return policies.
Craigslist (portland, or.) A bit of a stetch, but the advantage here is that it’s local so you can go try on the dresses in person. Bring cash and be ready to negotiate if you like it (or run if it gets weird)

Questions to ask Previous Owners
Can you Skype? There are sellers who will Skype with long-distance buyers to show them the dress.
What are the measurements? Nearly every wedding dress is altered, and a previously-altered dress won’t match the size label. If it’s a sample size, they tend to run smaller than street sizes.
Was the dress cleaned after use? How? Did the original wearer get anything on it?